The summer is almost over so I figured I’d post an update on what I’ve devoted my time to: family, writing, and mopeds; in that order. Vibes brought to you by Dear Summer, cover art is from The Rehearsal, and the title inspired by The Motorcycle Diaries. This whole post is a triple entendre.

Working on family and freelancing on the side

I expected to be working in the pharmaceutical industry by now. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Why not?

Without getting too specific, a company gave me a verbal offer during the holidays last year. However, they could not follow through in the New Year due to mounting financial troubles. It was an unfortunate position to be in but it was strictly business, so I wished them the best and moved on. This was on the cusp of widespread hiring freezes and layoffs, and to top it off, some life-changing personal things came up that made the situation 1000X more difficult to navigate.

The old me would’ve tried to “balance” my personal and professional lives by focusing all my energy on securing another job offer ASAP while loving/supporting my family from afar. The thing is, for the first time in my life, I stopped what I was doing and really reflected on what was going on in my life. This is important because I’ve always felt like I had to put my professional career above everything else; vacations, hobbies, and loved ones could wait.

How did I get like this? Well, first of all I’m Hispanic and the first person in my family to go to college, so I always felt like I only had on shot a success, and I wasn’t allowed to miss. Besides, people like me are underrepresented in science for very illogical reasons, so coming up, I was determined to be un-excludable by traditional academic standards (GPA, GRE, publications, grants, etc). Anyway, I was playing the game on hard mode: not only could the grind never stop, but I had to work twice as hard to get half the recognition.

Operating like this comes at a cost that, much like interest, compounds. I missed a lot of important life events: reunions, birthdays, and worst of all, funerals. It took me too long to realize that I chose to sacrifice those moments with my family. Knowing what I know now, I would trade all of my publications, fellowships, and awards for more time with loved ones, but life doesn’t go backwards. It feels terrible knowing you pushed family to side for something that doesn’t love you back, so when I came to that crossroad again, I decided to do things differently.

Short-term, I needed flexibility cuz we were going thru it. So, I’ve been using my savings and picking up freelance writing/consulting projects. I won’t get into the specifics about certain projects because I know how contracts and confidential disclosure agreements work. All I can say is that I welcome industry consulting projects for medical writing. What I can talk about is how proud I am of my academic clients, who are seeing amazing success: several pharmacy school acceptances, several medical acceptances, two post-PhD public health fellowships, a journalism fellowship, and a dental school acceptance.

Again, these circumstance mean I’m facing a very tough job market to break into, and it doesn’t seem like it’ll be getting better any time soon. Still, I think I’m smart enough to figure something out. I’ve been investing in myself since day 1, figuratively (regulatory science MS and pharmacology PhD earned concurrently) and literally (read my old not stock advice posts). Besides, I’ve made it to the final round of interviews at 12 different pharmaceutical companies and I’ve made a lot of amazing connections. If you can’t respect that, your whole perspective is wack

I’ll leave you with a philosophical question: If you want outsized rewards, when do you take a risk on an investment? Early (at the bottom) or towards the end (near the top)? Remember, this is *NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE*

Paper Published

In post-postdoc news: back in May, we published another paper from a project I worked on during my Scripps postdoc days. If you remember, we previously looked at glucocorticoid receptor (GR) signaling in the CeA, but in sprague dawley (SD) male rats. This time we used the Marchigian-Sardinian (msP) rat strain (our lab’s preferred anxiety strain) and compared it to the SD strain. Tl;DR more sex differences!

Mifepristone (GR antagonist that also hits progesterone and androgen receptors) significantly reduced GABA release in the CeA of alcohol naive mSP male and female rats, but not the alcohol naive male and female SD rats. Does mifepristone block the effects of 44 mM ethanol (equivalent to 2-3X the legal BAC)? Not really; even if you pre-apply mifepristone to the slices, ethanol still enhances GABA release in males of both strains, although you don’t see a statistically significant Sex x Strain difference. Interestingly, after becoming alcohol dependent, the SD males were sensitive to the effects of mifepristone, kind of like the naive male mSPs. To see what was going on at the molecular level, we used in situ hybridization to analyze Nr3c1 (GR gene) expression across the naive animals, which did show a sex difference: Nr3c1 is elevated in each female strain. Remember, we saw this with CRF1 in naive animals but in the opposite direction: the naive female SD rats had lower CRF1 expression than the males.

Big picture, this suggests that dysregulated GR signaling in the CeA may contribute to maladaptive behaviors, and highlights the utility of the mSP strain, but it’s definitely more complicated than just giving mifepristone to people suffering from AUD. Why? Well, our group previously found that mifepristone did not alter innate anxiety-like behavior in mSPs, and it didn’t reduce animal drinking. It seems like this may be another CRF1-like phenomenon, but of course, more works needs to be done in the alcohol field.

In pharmacology, we use tool compounds like Mox or mifepristone. Given the complex etiology of addiction, we should remain vigilant and remember that these findings are “tool pathways” until validated by human biology. Important findings none the less!

Blood, Sweat, and 2-stroke

Learning new things is my superpower. I don’t care what it is, I will figure it out. So, with a personal crisis going on, I needed a (flexible) project to take my mind off of things, hence my post back in March.

The end result is that I’ve gone from 0 motorcycle knowledge to a complete tear-down and rebuild of not one, but two QT50s. And yes, legally in California La Poderosa is classified as a motorcycle: it goes much faster than 30 mph, it has a >49 cc engine, and no pedals**.

I came across many amazing surprises, and I mean that pejoratively. One that deserves dishonorable mention is when I had to replace the fork assembly and handlebars. Unsurprising because I remembered that my handlebars felt wonky after a ride in Los Angeles, and chalked it up to my handlebar assembly snapping. However, it turns out the previous owner broke them first. To fix it, they welded the handlebar assembly, the fork tube, and the spanner nut together. Incredible, but nothing an afternoon and a drill bit couldn’t fix.

Between February and April, I added a lot of tools to my collection (tap and die set, flywheel puller, ball hone, impact wrench, snap ring pliers, etc) I read a lot of repair manuals, and I learned so much about engines that there’s no point going over everything. Off the top of my head, I changed the bearings, brake pads, brake cables, wheel bearings, gaskets, seals, and of course, rebuilt the carburetor. Last but not least, I learned how to hone the cylinder myself, I changed the piston ring, and I upgraded the cylinder head.

Moped Brothers and more

In late April, I was checking Craigslist and came across an amazing deal on a true moped: a completely restored 1978 Puch Free Spirit for $400! I planned on driving to Kansas in May to take care of family things anyway, and decided it’d be the perfect gift for my little brother’s birthday. I also brought my QT50 with me, and assembled it in my parent’s garage. After fixing some unexpected wiring issues, I finally got my moped running after 7 years in storage! Despite everything going on, I was able to spend quality time with family, friends, and of course, ride mopeds around my hometown with my little brother.

After spending a month with my family, I drove back to the Bay (and caught a flat in Bakersfield***). A few days after I got home, I was checking Craigslist again and came across an amazing deal in Berkeley: a 1979 QT50 with a super-rare 2-speed transmission from an MJ50 (Towny). For only a few hundred bucks, I couldn’t see a downside, since the transmission alone is worth that much. Also I knew that it’d fit perfectly into my Honda Fit so I met the person selling it who told me it hadn’t ran in years. He had no idea what was wrong with it, and honestly I didn’t care. I went to hell and back getting my QT50 running, so I knew I could figure out what was wrong. I gave him the cash, took it home, and have been restoring it slowly as a side project. One major problem: the piston was installed upside-down. I’ve since bought and installed a new top end, and I’m close to finishing the rebuild.

Since I had La Poderosa up and running, I decided to register for the national moped rally in Sacramento. It was supposed to be 3-days and 100+ miles of moped mayhem during labor day weekend. I continued to tune the carburetor and pressure test the upgrades to make sure I could run the rally without blowing the engine or needing a ride from the chase van. My temperatures were running a little hot, so I custom ordered an HPI CDI minirotor system from treatland. It lets you run an ignition timing curve (advancing at low RPMs then retarding at high RPMs) which helps you unlock optimum performance, although by itself, I wouldn’t call it a direct power upgrade.

I wanted to go all out, so I opted for a programmable CDI, which would allow me to design/edit the timing curve using my laptop. Sidenote: I solved an 11 year old problem in the moped community that renders these $400+ units useless. I also added a tachometer output, and expanded the memory so I could save and switch between 2 curves (street and sport modes). I installed it a week before Labor Day, which meant I had get it tested and working in a few days or miss the rally. It was a lot of troubleshooting, and it required more modifications than I expected, but once again, I was able to figure it out. I rode a few miles on the new system to make sure everything was ok, then I drove to Sacramento for the weekend.

Tentacle Difficulties

If you work on mopeds, you know the struggle is real. The rally was put on by the Landsquids moped club, who decided to name the rally “Tentacle Difficulties”. The morning of the long ride though, it was painfully accurate. First, my carb needed re-tuning. Before the rally, temperatures were projected to be in the 100s, so I was running rich, but Saturday morning, it was more like 68. After replacing a fouled spark plug, my kickstarter locked up, and I had to tear apart the transmission and reset the primary gear, which exploded. THEN I found that La Poderosa was running in reverse. Technically, this is impossible, because my transmission has only one gear.

The only thing I had done to it since the last time it started was put the primary gear back on, so I tore it apart again and changed the orientation of the gear key. It’s a square, so technically orientation shouldn’t matter (unless it’s sheared), but also, La Poderosa technically shouldn’t be running in reverse. Anyway, I did this 3 times, changing the orientation 90 degrees with no luck. By this time, it’s 3pm, I haven’t eaten all day, and the rally is half over. It seemed like my moped adventure was never going to happen.

I said earlier that learning is my superpower, but a big part of that includes my instincts, which kick in before I know what’s going on. I could tell La Poderosa wanted to run forwards, since the wheel would turn in the right direction when starting, but would reverse direction after combusting. The kickstarter was also acting a little funky and making the rear wheel turn backwards when released. So I got the sense that if I kicked it over just right, she would run forwards. And my instincts were right: if I gave it a hard kickstart quickly with the throttle 1/4 open, it would run forward….eventually. This didn’t always work, but I was able to get it to run forward n=3 separate times. This was all the proof I needed: the rally was back on.

By this time, its 3:30pm and there’s no way I can catch up to the group. Since going in reverse got me into this mess, I figured it would get me out: if I ran the rally from finish to start, I’d eventually have to cross paths with the other riders. With nothing to lose, I set my phone’s GPS and hit m the streets of Sacramento. I hit a few bumps along the way, literally and figuratively (had to double back for my emergency tool-bag; my throttle got stuck open a few times; etc) but I’m finally having fun, even if I’m riding by myself.

At a gas station in south Sacramento, I finally caught up to the other riders, and I’m not gonna lie: it was emotional. It felt like I was cursed (who ever heard of a moped running backwards???) and as silly as it seems, being part of the moped rally meant a lot to me. I started working on La Poderosa during the most difficult year in my life (so far) and this seemed like my chance to prove that I can make shit happen****.

Final Thoughts

Mopeds are seriously unserious vehicles. They have small engines, so they don’t go that fast unless you do some hardcore engine building. Add street traffic into the equation, and things start to get a little more real. The moped community is very much aware of how silly these toy motorcycles are; that’s what makes it so fun and funny.

I didn’t get the typical rally experience, but I would argue that I never get any typical experience: college, research, job market, etc. What’s typical for me: meeting super cool people, learning something new, and making things happen. That’s my typical W.

* Wayne said it: I’m me

** plated and insured in the my home state: Kansas

*** Whatever, this time I had a donut, which got me home (~500 miles nbd)

**** Yeah, I know, “it’s about the journey, not the destination” but what if the journey never begins?? QTNA